


Meant to Be

by ReeLeeV



Series: Kiwon High School AU [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Arguing, Hyungki rise, M/M, Separations, bg!showhyuk, bg!wonkyun, hyunghyun rise, idk why i always do my boy like this, kihyung rise, kiwon rise, lots of frikkin arguing, pining!jooheon, poor lil bumblebee, srry jooheon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-26 08:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13231707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReeLeeV/pseuds/ReeLeeV
Summary: A year after the battle to end the war, Kihyun and Hyungwon find themselves at each other's throats more than ever. Will they be able to make it through this rough-patch, or was it just never meant to be?Sequel to 'Winning (But Losing) to You'





	1. Chapter 1

"Fine! ThEN JUST LEAVE! IT'S WHAT YOU DO BEST!!!!"

"THEN I WILL!!"

"FINE!!!!"

" _FINE_!!!!!!" 

Kihyun heaves in some much-needed air as he watches his boyfriend of a year stomp out of his house, slamming the door behind him. His throat's sore from screaming, and his face is absolutely burning with rage. He releases an exasperated groan, sinking down into the nearest chair. It creaks under the sudden weight, and he wipes at his face. 

Fighting with Hyungwon always just takes the life out of him. 

"Um... hyung?" 

Kihyun starts, having forgotten there was anyone else in the house. He glances up with a watery gaze, sniffling up the tears once as he tries for a small smile. Changkyun gives him a tentative grin, shuffling from foot to foot in the archway to the kitchen.

"I'm fine, Kkungie," Kihyun assures him, his voice more air than sound. "Go back to the others, I'll be there in a minute." Changkyun doesn't look like he believes his hyung all that much, but he does as told and heads back to the living room. 

Kihyun releases a shaky breath, leaning forward to hide his head in his lap, just trying to block out this failure of a relationship from his tired mind and broken heart.

"He okay?" Jooheon asks, his voice hard and guarded. Changkyun shakes his head once as he crawls back onto the couch, or rather, Hoseok's lap which just so happens to be on the couch. Jooheon pouts at this, glaring holes into the television screen.

Minhyuk watches from his perch in Hyunwoo's arms, stroking the older boy's arm absentmindedly. 

"He will be," Hyunwoo offers to them all, certainty filling his voice. " _They_ will be." The boys all glance to their oldest friend and nod, smiling gratefully for his words of comfort. Jooheon spares one last side-glance towards the kitchen, where Kihyun and Hyungwon had disappeared only ten minutes before.

They'd all come over to hang out and catch up on a drama they all like to watch, and everything had been going great. All the couples were cuddling, and everyone was having a gay ol' time... 

But, then, during the confession scene they'd been waiting all season for, everything had fallen apart.

"What a sweet scene..." Kihyun had muttered under his breath as a love ballad began to play. "It must be nice to have it happen like that..."

Hyungwon had visibly bristled at that, pulling his arm away from Kihyun. Everyone had seen him do it, as such a mysterious comment had caused everyone to turn and look in their direction.

"Understanding is also nice," Hyungwon grumbled, visibly curling in on himself. "Patience is also nice...  _Compassion_ is nice, too." Kihyun whirled around, an indignant fire in his eyes.

"Do you wanna talk for a minute?" he'd asked, not even waiting for an answer before getting up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen. Hyungwon had followed, and not even a minute later there were sounds of yet another argument beginning between the two. Jooheon couldn't catch everything that was said, as they'd begun with mere whispering, but he was able to get quite a bit.

"… wasn’t about you, Hyungwon-ah." 

Hyungwon mumbled something Jooheon most definitely couldn't hear, as he'd always been better at whispering than Kihyun.

There was a sigh, and then a very cold, "Not everything in the world is about you, Chae Hyungwon."

"… But that was."

"Why do you keep pressing this?"

"Why do  _you_ keep bringing it up??"

"I don't!?! I told you I could wait!! I told you to take all the time you needed!!!!!"

"But you didn't mean it!!!!! You keep trying to get me to say it when I don't mean it!!!!!!" Hyungwon had groaned then, sounding utterly done with it all. "My parents suggested that I go to stay with them for a while in Japan... Maybe... Maybe I should."

That had been the last thing said before the shouting began, and now here they sit, waiting for Kihyun to get his brave face back on before returning to their hangout. 

Jooheon glances over again, though this time is surprised to see Kihyun walking in. The boy sits down with a heavy breath, his body rigid as he plops down next to Jooheon. His gaze is strained on the TV, even though a commercial is playing now. 

The younger sees the redness in his eyes, a telltale sign that he's just been crying. 

He doesn't even hesitate to set a consoling hand on the boy's shoulder. He feels his hyung relax under his touch, and it's all he has in him to keep from pulling him in tight for a hug he clearly needs.

At the end of the episode, the others clear out as fast as they can. They give decent excuses, though they're all lies. They know Kihyun needs some time alone, and they don't want to impose on their friend. So, they gather up their things and find themselves walking along the sidewalk only thirty minutes after the fight, a heavy silence hanging above them all.

"Their fights are worse now than before they started dating..." Changkyun mumbles, his voice heavy with burden. Hoseok pulls the boy close to his side despite the summer heat and grips his shoulders tightly, silently consoling him.

"All I know is, Jooheonney better keep from making any more moves until  _after_  they break up..." Minhyuk interjects, shooting Jooheon an unreadable glance. Jooheon trips over his own feet at that, squiting is already-small eyes in question.

"What's  _that_ supposed to mean??" he demands, very much not liking the older boy's tone.

"I saw that moment you two had," Minhyuk defends, quirking up a brow. "I  _also_  know you've been holding a torch for Kihyunnie ever since you were a freshman, whether you want to admit it or not. And I'm all for you going for it, if you think it'll make you happy... Just do it right and wait until he's single again. Otherwise, it'll be all kinds of messy."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jooheon grumbles, shoving the snapback he's wearing further down onto his head in silent protest.

" _Sure,_ _Heonney_ ~" Minhyuk snickers, shooting Jooheon a small wink. "Whatever you say." Changkyun glances over to Jooheon questioningly, but Jooheon avoids his gaze.

He swears, one day he's gonna strangle that lanky gossip of a hyung, no matter how cute he acts...


	2. Chapter 2

Hyungwon's phone goes off, signifying yet another missed call, but he doesn't bother checking who it's from. It's been an hour since he's left Kihyun's place, and he still very much is  _not_  in the mood to deal with the older right now. 

The device dings  _again_ , and Hyungwon only groans and turns on his other side. He squeezes his eyes shut, silently refusing to even acknowledge the existence of his boyfriend right now.  

Words from their argument earlier echo in his mind, and his heart practically shatters at Kihyun's words. The look in his eyes... That hurt, that clear and utter pain shining in those beautiful eyes... It's enough to eat away at Hyungwon's very soul.  

It's a look he's only ever seen once before, the night this entire mess began. 

 

It had been their one-year anniversary, and Kihyun had planned for them the best date ever. Kihyun had cooked them Hyungwon's favorite meal—jumbo grilled shrimp, yukhoe, and an overly-chocolatey chocolate cake—with the house all to themselves. They'd eaten dinner, watched movies... It'd been so simple, yet so, so perfect. 

That is, until Kihyun had said the one thing that still haunts them both to this day. 

"Wonnie," Hyungwon can still hear him say, his voice from all those days ago echoing so clearly in the younger’s mind. “I just… I wanted you to know that I think I love you… No, I  _do_ love you.” 

Hyungwon hadn’t what to do then. He’d immediately begun to panic, standing up and leaving the room for some air. He’d gotten a glass of water from the kitchen and chugged it in a single gulp, his thoughts going every direction they could possibly manage in his tiny head.  

He couldn’t very well say that he loved Kihyun back, because what the hell does that even feel like?? He really liked Kihyun, yes, but love??  _Love_???? But what if he didn’t say it back? Would that end the relationship? Because he didn’t want that, either… 

Hyungwon still doesn’t know how long he had stood there at the kitchen sink, just staring off into oblivion as he tried not to have a full-on panic attack. Eventually, Kihyun had come to find him, and they’d had a talk about how Hyungwon didn’t have to feel the need to say  _it_ if he wasn’t ready, and that it didn’t mean the end of their relationship if he didn’t say it right then.  

 

Of course, everything has changed since then. It’s been awkward to be alone together, and everything Kihyun says just makes Hyungwon feel more guilty about the whole situation. And then the guilt makes Hyungwon lash out, and everything just gets to be one giant mess.  

Even back when they fought all the time, things had never been  _awkward_  between them… Hyungwon doesn’t know if it's his own guilty conscience screwing everything up, or if this is just the natural progression of things. He'll be the first to admit that he hadn't expect things to end up like this, dating his school nemesis and all, but it had felt so natural for all this time. 

But, then Kihyun had to go and mess everything up with his heartfelt confession, and now it feels like they're back at square one. No, worse than that. Square negative-fifty... 

 

Kihyun closes his locker softly, practically jumping out of his skin at seeing who's waiting on the other side. He hasn't seen or heard from Hyungwon all weekend, ever since their fight at his house, and he honestly hadn't been expecting to see him today at school, either. But, Hyungwon clearly has other ideas. 

"Hey," is all the younger says, causing Kihyun's aggravation to spike. He can't help but scoff, rolling his eyes at the single-word greeting. He's been ignored for days, and all he gets is a  _hey_??  

"Hey," Kihyun replies, sarcasm filling his voice. Hyungwon frowns at this, crossing his arms over his chest. The older boy grips his messenger bag tightly, tapping his foot. 

"We need to talk," Hyungwon states, and Kihyun only gives a simple nod. 

"Yeah, we do." 

"Could we... go somewhere more private?" Kihyun looks around, noticing a few people looking in their direction, and sighs in exasperation. You'd think after a year of seeing them together, these nosy plebs would have gotten used to it... Kihyun gives a small nod, and turns on his heel to head towards his and Hyungwon's only safe haven in this entire building: the roof.  

The school had acted as if they'd all been flipped on their heads when it got out that Kihyun and Hyungwon were a couple, badgering the both of them nonstop with questions for weeks. They'd figured out the only place other students didn't dare go were the roof, as teachers were supposedly always keeping watch at the access door. Of course, the couple had never had an issue with getting up there, so they supposed the rumor was a bunch of malarky. 

Of course, they weren't going to tell anyone else that... 

 

Once out on the roof, Kihyun tosses his bag down towards the bench they sometimes would sit on, one head in the other's lap as they gazed up at the clouds. Kihyun's throat constricts at the memory, it leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He turns to face his dongsaeng, who's staring not at him but at that stupid bench, and the student body president sighs loudly, willingly ignoring the hurt in the younger boy's eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest. 

"So, will you start, or should I?" 

Hyungwon pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes shifting over to the older's, and he dares to take a step closer. 

"I'm sorry," he begins, his voice soft and barely audible over the hot winds blowing by them. "I didn't mean to tell you about my parents' invitation to Japan like that. I just... I was so mad, and—" 

"So, it was true?" Kihyun asks, the last thread of his hope crumbling like sand. He'd hoped despite the odds that Hyungwon had just made that up out of anger, but he knows better.  

Hyungwon gives a single nod, and Kihyun's eyes drop to the cement beneath their feet. Hyungwon's heart pangs guiltily at this, the older boy looking so defeated and so, so exhausted with it all. He doesn't want Kihyun to hurt, doesn't want to be the source of that hurt for someone he's come to care so deeply for... So, before he can even think about it, he finds himself saying these next words. 

"I think some time apart will do us both some good. Maybe, once I get back, we can try and patch things up?" 

Kihyun's shoulders hunch forward, and he can only nod. His fingers dig into his sleeves, his knuckles turning white. 

"When'll you leave?" is all he says, his voice cold and distant. The tone makes Hyungwon gulp nervously, and he questions if he's just made the biggest mistake in all his life. 

"At the beginning of the summer. I'll be gone for the entire break." 

"Okay," Kihyun mutters, turning away. He can't even look in the general direction of the boy, barely holding it together as is. He doesn't want to break in front of him, doesn't want him to see how much this is affecting him since it clearly isn't hurting the younger at all "Have a safe trip." Hyungwon gulps thickly, nodding even though the older can't see it. 

"I'll... see you when I get back, I guess." Kihyun can hear the door squeaking open, and he can't be any more grateful for it as tears begin to sting at his eyes. "I'm sorry, Kihyun," Hyungwon mumbles, and the older wonders if he was even supposed to hear it as the younger boy leaves him alone. 

The boy sniffs once, leaning his head back to try and force the tears of heartache back in. He won't cry over this. He absolutely  _refuses_  to cry over this. 

A cloud drifts into his line of sight, a puffy white clump of water vapors and dust reflecting the bright sunlight. It looks vaguely like a heart split in two, the pieces drifting further apart as the wind picks up. A forbidden tear leaks out the corner of his eye, and slides its way down his cheek. He releases a shaky breath, watching as the pieces just grow more and more distant... praying that somehow the cloud will become whole again. 


	3. Chapter 3

"So, does this mean you two... um..." Changkyun can't bring himself to say it, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip as he watches Hyungwon go through his closet and toss clothes towards the bed Changkyun is currently sitting on. The older visibly stiffens at the unspoken question, his grip tightening on the hanger he's currently holding.

"We're just taking a break," Hyungwon answers, his voice soft and fragile. The sound of it makes Changkyun's eyes widen, and suddenly he's worried that the older will begin crying. Oh God, he's never dealt with another person's tears before, what's he supposed to do then?? 

"I-I'm sure it'll all work out!" Changkyun finds himself declaring, at a loss for what else to do. Hyungwon releases a shaky laugh, smirking over at his dongsaeng with fond eyes.

"Thanks, Kkungie," he says. He then sighs loudly, turning his attention back to the task at hand. "Now, make yourself useful and go find my suitcase. It should be in the hall closet." Changkyun nods and scurries from the room, earning a lighthearted chuckle from Hyunwon as he goes. A sound that quickly dies, however, when he sees a sweater much too small for him shoved off to the side. It's fluffy and dark brown, and suits its real owner so well...

Hyungwon's heart constricts painfully, so suddenly that it steals the breath from him. He wonders at first if he's having a heart attack or something, and he grips at his chest to try and stave off the hurt. But, no, it definitely isn't a heart attack... Maybe heartburn? Or a stroke, even?

 _What the fuck am I doing...?_ he silently asks himself, gaze unwaveringly glued to that stupid sweater. He remembers the last time Kihyun had worn it. The older was over at his apartment, just hanging out and cuddling together on the couch. They'd fallen asleep while watching a movie, but it hadn't mattered as Kihyun's parents had been out of town to visit relatives. 

He slowly reaches out, unable to recall why the sweater is still here. Perhaps he'd stolen it to have something to remind him of Kihyun, or maybe the older had forgotten it after taking a shower and leaving the next morning... Either way, Hyungwon hadn't yet returned it. He pets the soft fabric once, tears beginning to threaten to flow from his eyes as he thinks of how much softer Kihyun's hair is than any sweater... 

"I found it~!" Changkyun suddenly shouts, jolting Hyungwon from his thoughts. The boy sniffs once, forcing the tears back down as he turns with a grateful smile for his returning dongsaeng. "When're you leaving, hyung?"

"I'm already done with finals," Hyungwon tells him in a voice full of bravado, "so I don't have anything to stick around for... I guess I'll leave as soon as I get the ticket from my parents." He trains a hard gaze on his own clothes in the closet, shoving the sweater aside.

He has to be strong during this time apart, to prove to himself that he deserves someone as strong as Kihyun... 

"Taking a break?" Minhyuk asks, raising a confused brow at this new development. Kihyun hums, nodding as he takes a small sip from his coffee. He hadn't really wanted the coffee, but Minhyuk and Jooheon had dragged him out to treat him after school that day. Jooheon had separated from them only to return five minutes later with everyone's usual orders, saying it was on him. "That's quite a break, if he's really going to Japan."

"He is," Kihyun mumbles, his voice a bit raspy. Today was the first day he's ever played hooky from class, having been too caught up in his own heartbreak on the roof to realize how much time had passed until after two classes had passed by already. He fights back a sigh, adding apology notes for his teachers onto his to-do list. 

"I mean," Minhyuk goes on, frowning a bit, "I know Wonnie's always been welcome to join his parents whenever he wanted, but this is just ridiculous. Did you  _tell_ him that this is ridiculous?"

"I," Kihyun tries to say, his voice cracking on the single syllable. He can only manage to shake his head, his grip tightening around his coffee. He remembers the way Hyungwon had said he was leaving, in the same way one might say he was thinking of getting a fish... So casual, as if it meant nothing to him.

Is that what Kihyun means to him? Nothing more than a damn fish??

"Well then I will," Minhyuk states simply, shifting in his seat to pull his phone from his pocket. Kihyun begins to mentally panic, head snapping up with frantic eyes. "Honestly, you'd think he was—" He's cut off by Kihyun's hand suddenly clasping onto his wrist, physically stopping him from going any further with his intended action.

"Minhyuk-ah,  _please_  don't," Kihyun says, practically begging. Minhyuk freezes at this, utterly shocked by the light in his same-age friend's eyes. He's never seen Kihyun look so...  _desperate_. "I appreciate the thought, but don't. Hyungwon-ah and I will figure this out ourselves."

Minhyuk doesn't know what it is. Perhaps it's because he actually  _does_ have self-control, and knows when to butt out when he needs to... But, when he sees Kihyun sigh gratefully and release his wrist with a shaky hand, he knows it isn't that. The panic in Kihyun's eyes dissipates, but remains in the corners, and Minhyuk knows it's for him, just to set his mind at ease.

He swears, he's gonna rip Hyungwon a new one when he sees him next.

Jooheon watches the whole thing silently, his coffee long-forgotten as he hears all this. He can't believe they've broken up... He'd thought for sure they were forever... 

But, he guesses that's how it is with high school relationships. One minute you're hot, the next minute...

 _Oh, shit_ , Jooheon mentally grumbles, staring at Kihyun's broken demeanor. He wants nothing more than to take Kihyun's hand and just run away, far away from this place and all the shitty people in it. Well, mainly Hyungwon, but that's beside the point. He gulps nervously, the small light of hope within his heart beginning to grow in strength.

_They've broken up... He's single again..._

The boy bites hard on his lower lip, telling himself he's the absolute worst friend ever for zeroing in on  _that_  fact alone. He does his best to not immediately begin thinking of all the comfort Kihyun will need, of all the free time the older will suddenly have on his hands... Free time Jooheon can most certainly visit him on, and console him, and put him back together only to have him as his own and finally prove himself worthy.

 _Yeah_ , Jooheon mentally sighs.  _You're_ _absolu_ _tely_ _the worst friend ever_. 


	4. Chapter 4

Hyungwon’s parents are a bit surprised, to say the least, when he calls them to say he’s changed his mind about coming to Japan for the summer. They’re even  _more_ surprised when he informs them he wants to leave as soon as possible, that he’s finished for the term and that there’s no need for him to stick around. 

He’d known they’d be surprised, sure, but he hadn’t expected for them to be so  _excited._ His mother had practically screamed, announcing she was getting up from her seat to buy the ticket on her own phone while his father continued talking with him. 

“Tell him what all he needs to pack!” she’d instructed, her voice growing more distant over the speaker. Hyungwon had chuckled then, glancing over at the bags he’d already begun packing when Changkyun was over. 

“Hold on, hold on,” his father had said, a tinge of amusement to his voice. “What made you change your mind? You were pretty set in staying in Korea again.”

“It’s just… time for a break from it all,” Hyungwon had told him, trying for a small laugh. 

Luckily, the man had accepted his vague response, and now he’s adding into his bags whatever items he hadn’t thought to pack but what his mother had insisted that he’d need. It’s all stuff he could just buy when over there. But, if it sets the woman’s mind at ease, he might as well comply. 

 _This is good_ , he thinks, bustling about his quiet apartment.  _This’ll be for the_ _better._ _There’s a reason they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder_. He even begins to hum a little tune under his breath. The song sounds familiar, though he can’t place where he’d heard it. 

He doesn’t realize it’s one of Kihyun’s favorite songs to sing that he’s humming. 

He glances at his phone for the time, gulping around a ball of hurt in his throats at the lock screen. He hasn’t thought to change it yet from the cutest couple selfie… Well, he can just fix that right up. 

He quickly goes through his photos, selecting one at random to change his wallpapers. He smiles contentedly. Sure, his phone may look like meme trash now, but it’s better this way. Out of sight, out of mind. 

This time, he succeeds in checking the time, and practically yelps in shock. He hadn’t realized it’d gotten so late! He looks over in the direction of the kitchen at the grumbling of his stomach, frowning. He hadn’t been to the store in a while not since his and Kihyun’s… anniversary. Not that he’d be able to cook himself anything, anyways… The older had always been the one with any culinary skills out of the pair. 

His chest aches at the memories that suddenly fill his mind. All the times Kihyun had said he’d “whip something up”, and absolutely  _forbid_  Hyungwon from helping… Just this passed Christmas, they’d had a huge dinner for just them and their friends. Kihyun had cooked everything they ate that night, and Hyungwon had tried to help—much to the older’s dismay. 

Ghosts of their past laughter ring clearly throughout the apartment, their sounds of mirth breaking through Hyungwon’s empty soul.

He clears his throat, grabbing for his keys, wallet, and phone as he quickly makes his way to the front door. 

 _Distance makes the heart grow fonder_ … he silently repeats, chuckling ruefully. Hell, he isn’t even out of the country yet and he can’t stop thinking of Kihyun for more than five minutes… What’s it going to be like when he actually leaves Korea??? 

 _This’ll definitely be good for us_ , he tells himself as he trudges through the night.  _By the time I get back, we’ll be so happy to see each other that we’ll never fight again! … I’ll never hurt him again…_

The next morning, Hyungwon’s jolted awake by a loud banging on his door. He’d fallen asleep on the couch watching a late-night talk show, and lurches up, at first in a panic as he wonders just who the hell is attacking him so early in the day. 

He groans in annoyance as he realizes he’s just in his living room. He slinks off the piece of furniture, shuffling towards the source of the noise as he runs a hand through his hair. His head feels like it’s stuffed full of cement, and his stomach roils unpleasantly. He’d ended up cracking up a few beers the night before, having not realized until it was too late how drink he was.

He lazily reaches out and opens the door, frowning in confusion at who he sees. 

“Hyung? What’re you doing here?” 

Minhyuk snorts, pushing passed the redhead as he enters the apartment. The boy can only watch, dumbfounded. 

“I told Kihyunnie I wouldn’t stick my nose in,” Minhyuk sighs, the mention of his same-age friend immediately putting Hyungwon on guard. He shuts the door and turns to face the boy, crossing his arms over his chest as Minhyuk goes on. “But, I can’t just sit by and watch as my friends do something completely and utterly  _stupid_.”

Hyungwon huffs out an annoyed sigh then, doing a quarter-turn on his heel. He goes to the kitchen to begin boiling water, pretty sure there’s some instant coffee in the pantry. He’s sure gonna need it. 

“You  _really_  think breaks actually  _help_  couples through their problems???” Minhyuk shouts after him, following the younger through the apartment. “Well, they don’t. They only let the two people realize all that they’re missing outside of the relationship, and then the break becomes permanent. Do you want that? Do you  _want_ to lose Kihyun forever??”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business,” Hyungwon spits out, as blunt as ever. He doesn’t even turn around, glaring at the kettle on the stove. Minhyuk purses his lips at this, crossing his arms in silent protest. 

“It’s my business because I care about you both,” Minhyuk tells him, his voice softer than before. “I swear to god if you ever tell him this I’ll strangle you in your sleep, but I’ve actually come to consider Kihyun a really good friend, and I’ve  _always_  done my best to look out for  _you_. I see how happy you two are together, and I  _know_ that if you just stop and talk about whatever happened between you it’ll work out much better than a summer-long break in different countries.” 

Hyungwon doesn’t know what makes him snap. Maybe it’s the true sincerity in Minhyuk’s voice, the soft, gentle tone feeling absolutely patronizing no matter it’s good intent. Maybe it’s  _what_ the older says, as it plays on practically every doubt in Hyungwon’s mind about his decision. Maybe it’s the hangover. Whatever it is, it drives Hyungwon over the edge. 

“ _God_ , Minhyuk just  _back_ the  _fuck off_!!!!” he shouts, slamming his hand against the nearby counter as he whirls about, a furious glare set in his eyes. “Kihyun and I are the  _only_ ones in this relationship, so  _butt out._ ” 

Minhyuk frowns, his brow scrunching in dismay. He doesn’t say anything for a solid five minutes, the longest he’s been quiet for as long as Hyungwon’s known him. Finally, the older boy just turns back towards the living room. Hyungwon watches him as he goes, listening as the front door opens and slams shut. Hyungwon turns back towards the kettle, releasing a heavy breath. The silence following Minhyuk’s departure is deafening, roaring in his ears and growing more suppressing by the second. 

Somehow, that reaction had been worse than anything Minhyuk could’ve said.   


	5. Chapter 5

Changkyun shifts anxiously in his seat, twiddling with his thumbs as Jooheon tries to get Kihyun to speak. Hoseok looks over at him, recognizing his nervous tendency, and sets a gentle hand atop Changkyun's hands whilst trying to give him a comforting smile. Changkyun returns the expression as best he can, leaning closer to the older instinctually.  

"Are you okay, hyung?" Jooheon says, resting a hand on Kihyun's thigh. It's an innocent enough gesture between two boys who've known each other for as long as these two have, but, after what Minhyuk had said about Jooheon having a crush on the older, Changkyun can't help but raise a suspicious brow. Jooheon, of course, remains oblivious to it.  

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine," Kihyun replies, chuckling softly to himself. He sniffles a little, glancing over at Minhyuk. The black-haired man stands in the doorway to the living room, still heaving in air and giving off the impression he'd literally just run here from Hyungwon's place. Which is impossible, of course, as Hyungwon's apartment is all the way across town... But, then again, if anyone were able to pull that off it's Minhyuk. 

"Kihyunnie, did you not hear me?? He's packed! He's sitting there with one foot out the door! He—" 

"He made his choice!" Kihyun bursts out, turning with an icy glare set in his eyes. Changkyun literally shivers, shifting even closer towards his boyfriend. Hoseok wordlessly wraps an arm around him, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously. Kihyun stands from his seat, Jooheon watching him with frightened eyes. 

"God knows why you went over when I  _told you_ to keep out of it," Kihyun begins, his voice so low the others have to lean in to hear him, the venom practically dripping from his lips, "but just st—" 

"BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE BEING MORONS!!!" Minhyuk screams, completely exasperated.  

It's so quiet in the room you could hear a pen drop for a good minute or two, the same-age friends stuck in some sort of silent glaring contest. Jooheon glances between the two, struck suddenly by how similar they look like this: defiantly set in their own sides of an argument, equally deathly glares boring into each other's very souls.  

Finally, Minhyuk sighs, his eyes and shoulders dropping in a sort of defeated manner. 

"Look," he says, his voice much quieter than normal, "I don't want to kick you while you're down. But, please, go over there.  _Fight_ for him to stay... I can't watch you two throw away your chances with each other. I never would have thought it, but you two are really good together... Wonnie... I've never seen him as happy as he is when you two are together, and I've known him for  _years_. You helped open him up to the world, to bring him out of that shitty apartment and show him just what's out there. You made him  _care_ again. If you'd just—" 

"If he cared so much," Kihyun interrupts, his voice hardened to fight off the threatening influx of tears, "then he wouldn't be leaving for the entire summer. He'd try and fix this. But, instead, he's running away. So, please, just let it go.  _For real_  this time."  

Minhyuk chews on his bottom lip, everything in him telling him to try and fix this. But, what else can he do? There's no helping those who won't help themselves, no matter how much you want there to be... 

"Fine," Minhyuk mutters, turning to leave. "I hope you two wake up soon and realize what you're doing...  _before_  it's too late." He then marches out of the house, softly closing the door behind him as he goes. It's a much less dramatic exit than the one he'd performed at Hyungwon's apartment, but he feels it makes just as strong of an impact. 

Kihyun goes to sit back down next to Jooheon, practically deflating against the younger. His eyes flutter shut and his brow creases together, as if he's trying to collect his thoughts. Jooheon moves to wrap an arm around the older's waist, giving him a sort of half-hug. A certain kind of stillness overtakes the room, both Hoseok and Changkyun too nervous to say or do anything. 

Changkyun's phone, however, decides to shatter it after a moment, causing the boy to practically jump out of his skin in surprise. He glances down to see a message from Hyungwon, and can't help but glance nervously at Hoseok. Of course, Hoseok is blissfully unaware of the message, watching with a blank look how Jooheon begins to rub soothing circles into Kihyun's side. 

 _I'm leaving next Wednesday... I don't want a dramatic goodbye at the airport_ _ㅋㅋㅋ_ _but if u_ _wanna_ _see me b4 I leave, we can meet up_  

 _I'm pretty sure Min-_ _hyung_ _is mad at me... but if he wants 2 come 2, it'll be ok_  

 _Anyone's welcome_  

 _Idk_ _abt_ _Kihyun..._  

 _Depends on him_  

Changkyun watches as the different texts come in, one right after the other. It's a telltale sign that the older is nervous about texting this, or, moreover, mentioning Kihyun's name even over text. He locks his phone, putting away the messages for now. He'll have to think about the best way to respond to that for a good long while... 

"Kkungie," Hoseok says suddenly, causing the younger boy to jump again. "Did you still want to go to the mall today?" Changkyun's brow creases in confusion, quite unsure what the older could be talking about. He never said he'd wanted to go to the mall... 

Hoseok quirks up his brow in a silent message, one that Changkyun immediately understands and has him agreeing. 

"Oh! Yeah, definitely," he says, quickly standing from his seat. He looks over to Kihyun, who's watching with a lazy sort of gaze, eyes barely open. "We'll see you later, okay hyung? Please, if you need anything, just text me." Kihyun smiles softly, a single chuckle slipping past his lips. 

"I'll be fine, Kyunnie," he assures his dongsaeng, though he can't much get the strength to move right then. "Thank you." Changkyun nods, as does Hoseok before the couple leaves him and Jooheon to themselves. Kihyun releases a heavy breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, pouting as he snuggles close to Jooheon. 

"I don't know what I did wrong, Heonney..." he mutters, hiding his face in the younger's shoulder as his voice breaks. Jooheon gulps nervously, unable to keep himself from hugging Kihyun even tighter to himself, his heart absolutely breaking for his childhood friend. 

"Absolutely nothing, hyung. You did absolutely nothing wrong." 

 

Changkyun hurries after Hoseok down the sidewalk, panting slightly as he reaches for the boy's hand. Hoseok takes it seemingly out of instinct, breathing deeply as he uses the touch to ground himself. 

"What's the matter?" Changkyun asks softly, recognizing the dark light in Hoseok's eyes. The older tries for a light laugh, but it comes out more pained than anything. 

"I just couldn't sit there and watch them be like  _that_ anymore," Hoseok answers, his voice deeper than usual. "Jooheon-ah couldn't have even waited a full forty-eight hours before making his move, could he?" Changkyun holds in his breath, recognizing his boyfriend's rhetorical tone. "I'm sorry, I know he's been your friend for a long time, but I just don't like how he's been all over Kihyunnie since he and Hyungwon split... It hasn't even been a  _week_ , and he's already moving in?? Hyungwon hasn't even left the country yet, for god's sake!" 

"Hyung," Changkyun interjects, his sense of defense rising for one of his best friends, "I'm sure Jooheonney-hyung doesn't mean anything by it. Or, at least, not for now. He knows better than to do that." 

"Then why did you react like you did when Jooheon-ah touched his thigh?" Hoseok asks bluntly, shooting the younger a skeptical glance. Changkyun blushes slightly, having not realized the older had noticed. He's always full of surprises, this one. 

"Those two have always been close," Changkyun says, not really answering the older's question. "Sure, when Kihyun and Hyungwon-hyung got together it sort of staved off, but they've always relied on each other... They've known each other for their whole lives, it's only normal that Jooheonney-hyung try to comfort him. It was a completely friendly gesture... I'm sure of it." Changkyun can't even tell if he's trying to convince Hoseok or himself, at this point, but his boyfriend seems to buy it, and that's good enough for him. 

Hoseok nods, humming at his words as he pulls Changkyun closer. The younger swallows down a ball of guilt, feeling as if he's just lied to his boyfriend, despite that not being his attention at all. 


	6. Chapter 6

Changkyun stands with the others in the airport, an obnoxious crew if you've ever seen one. The youngest had tried to tell Minhyuk Hyungwon didn't want anything extravagant, but, then again, subtlety has never been Minhyuk's strong suit.  

So, here they are, taking up more space than they should with neon Mylar balloons and a sign so big they all have to help and hold it covered in nothing but glitter, tinsel, and more neon. They've been standing here for at least ten minutes, looking like absolute idiots, because Minhyuk had insisted on coming early.  

"People are staring..." Hoseok mumbles sheepishly under his breath, shuffling on his feet. He shifts his hold on the sign to use it to hide his face, as it's begun to blush with embarrassment. Changkyun smiles fondly, this being one of his favorite sides of his boyfriend. 

"It'll be okay, Hoseok-ah," Hyunwoo assures him, giving him a kind smile for support. "Hyungwonnie will be here soon." 

"He's late," Minhyuk grumbles, tapping an impatient foot. "You should be here early for boarding, everyone knows that. Entitled little—" 

"There he is!" Changkyun cries, rocking back and forth on his heels excitedly as a familiar head of red hair suddenly appears through the crowd. Hyungwon's looking down at his phone, earbuds in and paying absolutely no attention to his surroundings. He almost walks right passed the group. If it weren't for him glancing up absently at the exact moment he'd needed to, Minhyuk would've taken the sign from the others and flung it at his head. 

"Oh..." he mutters, his eyes growing wide as he locks his phone and puts it into his pocket. It seems to take the boy a moment to process what he sees, but, when he does, a genuine smile breaks out over his features, and a light chuckle escapes him. "Wow. I told Kkungie nothing dramatic..." 

"This isn't dramatic, brat," Minhyuk tells him, a smirk coming to him as he steps forward to hug the younger tightly. "I could've added, like,  _way_ more glitter." Hyungwon laughs again, dropping his grip on his rolling suitcase to hug the older back. Minhyuk pulls away after a moment, lightly hitting Hyungwon across his chest. "You better come back, Wonnie, and not leave me with these scrubs." He glances over his shoulder quickly, as if as an afterthought, shooting Hyunwoo a wink. "Excluding you, of course~" Hyunwoo puffs up his chest proudly at this, and Jooheon can't help but roll his eyes at the interaction. 

"Wouldn't dream of it," Hyungwon assures him, his eyes shining. Changkyun slips out suddenly from behind the sign, unable to hold himself back any longer as he throws himself at Hyungwon, wrapping his arms tightly around the older's waist and burying his face in his shirt. 

"Be safe, hyung," he requests, his voice muffled by the fabric. Hyungwon's heart constricts at this, feeling a wetness begin to leak through his shirt that's most surely the younger's tears. Hyungwon hugs him as tightly as he can, his eyes falling shut as he tries to control his own emotions. 

"Don't worry about me, Kkungie," he tells him jokingly. "It's me who should be worrying about you, having to stay back and take care of all these losers." Changkyun chuckles thickly, pulling away and wiping at his face. The others gently put down the sign and come forward, each offering him a word of encouragement and a heartfelt hug. 

Jooheon willingly takes the last place in line, chewing on his lower lip anxiously. It feels  _wrong_ somehow for him to be here. Which is stupid, of course, because he and Hyungwon have gotten to be really good friends this year, and of course he's got to be here to say goodbye to a really good friend. He'd do it for Hyunwoo or Kyunnie, Minhyuk... He'd even do it for Hoseok. So, why does it feel like he's intruding on a private moment he very much does not belong in? 

 _You've been waiting for this day for years!_ a forbidden voice suddenly rings through his ears.  _Send this bitch on his merry way! He's broken Kihyun apart, and now you can pick up the pieces. You should actually thank him..._  

"Jooheonney," Hyungwon suddenly says, shaking Jooheon from his thoughts. He physically jolts, his eyes growing in a panic. Had Hyungwon heard him? No, that's impossible... The older glides forward, leans down, and hugs him tight. Jooheon draws in a surprised breath, chuckling anxiously as he pats the boy's back. "Take care of Kihyunnie for me, please." 

Jooheon's small eyes grow twenty times in size at the request. A light blush creeps its way up his cheeks as he thinks of just how much he'd  _love_ to take care of Kihyun in Hyungwon's absence... a thought he immediately admonishes himself for. 

"S-Sure, hyung," Jooheon replies thickly. Hyungwon sighs into his ear, clearly relieved, and pulls back. A brave smile is set on the handsome boy's features, and Jooheon's guilt grows tenfold. He glances around to see if any of the others had heard the exchange, but they're all completely oblivious. 

"So, no...?" Hyungwon pauses, unable to say the name of the one person he'd wanted to see—no offense to the others—though they all understand what he's asking.  

"He um... said to make sure you have a safe flight, if that's any better," Hoseok sheepishly offers, trying to give the boy an encouraging smile. Hyungwon's smile falters for a moment, as if that hurt more than anything else could've, and he only shrugs in acknowledgment before grabbing for his bags. 

"I'll text you guys when I land," he tells them, his voice harder than before. "Now, I've gotta go before I miss my flight. Thank you all for coming... It really did mean a lot." He gives them all one last grin, and then stalks off without even waiting for a response. 

"We love you, hyung!!" Changkyun shouts after him, waving wildly. Hyungwon hums at him, holding up a hand without turning back around.  

They remain long enough to watch him go through security, and then he disappears round the corner without so much as a glance. Changkyun groans loudly, clinging to Hoseok. 

"This is so stupid," he cries, hiding his face in the older's shirt. "Why can't they just talk it out? Why does he have to leave?" 

" _Now_ you get on my side??" Minhyuk demands, sounding much angrier than he'd intended. Both Hoseok and Changkyun flinch at his tone, and Minhyuk has to smile at them to set them at ease. "What's done is done, there's nothing else we can do. Come on, all this grief made me hungry. Let's go get something to eat." 

"I think I'm just going to go home," Jooheon interjects as the others immediately move to comply with the older's words. They all turn to him, varying looks of confusion pointed at him. "I'm not all that hungry... In fact, all this sadness is great song-writing fuel, eheh..." He chuckles awkwardly, feeling Minhyuk's skeptical glare boring into his soul. 

"... Alright, your loss," Minhyuk finally relents with a shrug. He then turns towards the restaurants surrounding them, announcing with a gallant tone how much he's been dying for a hamburger steak. Hyunwoo chuckles warmly, having to quicken his pace to follow. Hoseok and Changkyun hold back a few paces before starting after them, tightly holding each other's hands as if the other could fly away at any second. 

Jooheon releases a long sigh, relieved the others had believed him, and makes his way towards the exit. Luckily, he doesn't have to fight his way through a huge crowd, and he finds the car still running right where he'd left it. He slides into the passenger's seat, sighing again as he buckles his seat belt. 

"He get off okay?" Kihyun asks thickly, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Jooheon hums, nodding, as he isn't too sure just how much detail to give. Kihyun nods once, as if the answer is suffice, and checks their surroundings before pulling away from the parking spot. Jooheon hesitates to add this, but feels it may help Kihyun... though in what way he isn't quite sure. 

"He asked about you," he adds softly, noticing how Kihyun grows rigid in his seat. His lips purse, and the bags under his eyes seem to grow five times deeper in a matter of seconds. Jooheon licks his lips nervously, unsure if he should give more. "Um, hyung, I'm sure it wouldn't have been bad if you'd have come. Maybe try sending him a text or something? I don't think he'd mind." 

"I can't right now," Kihyun tells him grimly after a moment of tense silence. "I can't see him, I can't talk to him... I can't even think about him for too long. He wanted space, so I'll give it to him." Jooheon nods quickly, as Kihyun's typically-strong voice has begun to crack and he doesn't want to put too much strain on his hyung. Kihyun nods again, breathing in and out slowly. "Now, are you hungry? We can get some food or something." 

"Absolutely starving," Jooheon agrees a bit too fast, earning a light chuckle from the older.  

Jooheon tells himself he says this because he doesn't want to leave Kihyun alone, not because of a stupid crush, but because he's trying to be a good friend. He's trying to take care of the older, just as Hyungwon had wanted. He's just trying to be supportive, to keep everyone happy... 

That's all. 


	7. Chapter 7

Kihyun sits numbly on the couch, sipping from his too-strong drink. It's been two weeks since Hyungwon's all-too _-brilliant_ departure _,_  and it hasn't gotten any easier for the older. He's been dragged out to Minhyuk's end-of -term bash, and it hasn’t done the slightest to better his mood. 

Throughout the most painful weeks of Kihyun’s existence, he’s barely been able to eat or sleep. He eats when told to, which isn’t very often, and lies awake most hours of the night thinking of all the things he’s done to bring this on himself. 

He’d never believed all those sappy love songs about heartbreak before, thinking them overly dramatic and outright ridiculous. Surely someone couldn’t affect you  _that_  much, right??? Well, now, he sees the validity in every syllable of these songs, them speaking to his damaged soul like no other could. 

His physical condition has worsened. His dyed hair obviously isn’t maintained as it should be, there’s atrocious—as Minhyuk so kindly calls them—bags under his eyes, and he’s beginning to look a bit thinner. 

So, with all this in mind, his ever-annoying friends have kidnapped him and brought him here. They’d done so in an effort to get him to forget about everything, but it isn’t exactly helping to improve his mood. This party only serves to remind the boy of his lost love, and that's something he doesn't need any help with at all. 

It doesn't matter what he does, or where he is.  _Everything_ reminds him of Hyungwon. He passes by a cat cafe and he remembers how much the younger one day wants a kitten to call his own. He'll be humming a tune under his breath, and then realize after too long that it's Hyungwon's ringtone. Hell, he'll just be  _cleaning his damn house_ and he'll suddenly be reminded of how much he used to get onto the younger for how little he cleans his own apartment.

"A cleaning lady comes once a week," he'd always say, shrugging as if it meant nothing to him one way or the other. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"A lot of filth can pile up in a week, Wonnie," Kihyun had insisted, sweeping up the kitchen anxiously. "God, just  _look_ at all this dust! I don't even think this cleaning lady of yours does her job properly. My house is cleaner than this on a regular basis, and I do all the cleaning myself!" Hyungwon had chuckles then, an adoring light shining in his eyes.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I have you now, isn't it~?" 

Kihyun groans in dismay under his breath, chugging his drink as his mind snaps back to the present. He absolutely refuses to think of Hyungwon any more tonight, as he's fairly certain the younger isn't thinking about him at all...

"Whoa there, hyung," Jooheon suddenly says, appearing beside Kihyun with a drink in his hand. "Pace yourself, we've still got at least three more hours here."

"Aren't  _I_ supposed to be the hyung, here, Jooheonney??" Kihyun demands, his aggravation spiking. He'd already been in a sour mood before coming here, and now being here, at this party that's so similar to the one where he and Hyungwon had first begun to grow closer at... It  _definitely_ isn't helping.

Jooheon, however, chuckles, as if what Kihyun had said was actually funny. How dare he?? Kihyun is pissed, dammit, and he'd meant to sound as much... Fuck it, he'll just blame that failure on the three drinks he's had already. It'd be a believable enough excuse, as Minhyuk had made them and that boy apparently doesn't believe in a drink that isn't at least 50% liquor.

"Make yourself useful and bring me another drink, dongsaeng," Kihyun suggests, waving Jooheon off. Jooheon laughs wholeheartedly at this, cocking up a brow.

"Here, hyung, have mine," he says, sounding much too helpful. Kihyun eyeballs it for a solid second before taking it. He's pretty sure if the boy is so willingly giving him another drink that it'll be water. He decides to just go ahead with it, not really caring enough to throw it back in Jooheon's face and go get himself another drink. Besides, he honestly isn't too sure he could make it to that table by himself right now... So, with that in mind—and with the fullest intention to get just as drunk again later if this sobers him up at all—he drains the cup in one huge gulp.

He makes a sour face, gagging. Yep. Definitely water.

"Your attempts to sobermeeee up have failed, Lee Jooheonneeey," Kihyun slurs out, for some reason feeling much more intoxicated than before. He stands, wobbling slightly. "I'm going to get  _two_ drinks to make up for that, and  _even some shots_ , which  _yoooouuu_ are going to do with me. So  _hAH_!" Kihyun then hobbles off for the drink table, where Hoseok and Changkyun are currently chatting away. 

He narrows his gaze on the tequila bottle, picking it up and getting two empty cups. He then realizes that was stupid, as he still needs to make himself two more drinks, and sets the tequila down as he mixes up whatever the hell he grabs, not really in a picky mood.

"Kihyunnie..." Hoseok's voice suddenly interjects, sounding a bit hesitant. Kihyun's head snaps up, pursing his lips at the older's cautious stare. "You uh... gonna leave some for the rest of us?" Kihyun chuckles lowly at this, returning his gaze to his most important quest of his entire life.

"Heonney and I are doing shots!" he yells over the music, his blood roaring in his ears. "He gave me water instead of vodka, and for  _that_ he must paaaaaay."

"Isn't Jooheonney-hyung driving you two home tonight?" Changkyun asks all too quickly. Kihyun scoffs and rolls his eyes. God, why have all of his dongsaengs suddenly forgotten their place???

"We can just crash here," he grumbles, quickening his pace to get out of the interrogation. "Minhyuk-ah won't mind." Hoseok doesn't look incredibly convinced, but Kihyun is just drunk enough to not care as he finishes his work. He just barely manages to gather it all on his own and stumble back over to where he'd left Jooheon. He sits down with a heavy plop, almost spilling his drinks, and opens the tequila bottle with a focused pout.

The younger would laugh if he weren't so worried for his friend.

"Thtop thtaring at me like that, dongthaeng," Kihyun tells him, the alcohol doing absolutely nothing to help him hide his lisp. It's all Jooheon has in him to not coo, as he's pretty sure that'd make Kihyun blow up at him. Kihyun pulls out the cork with an all too satisfying  _pop_ , and messily pours out a shot each into the empty cups.

"TO KOREA!" Kihyun declares, lifting up his cup after Jooheon grabs his own. Jooheon halfheartedly taps his cup against his hyung's and downs the tequila, wincing at the strong taste. Kihyun giggles as his face contorts adorably in dismay, and pours them both another shot. "TO THUMMER!" he shouts, not even waiting to clink before downing his shot. Jooheon watches wearily as Kihyun hastily pours himself a third shot, raising the glass to no one in particular as a dark light overtakes his eyes.

"And to fUCKING JAPAN!! AND ALL 926 KILOMETERTH BETWEEN UTH AND IT!!!! Is this enough space for you, you dumb prick??" He asks the question more to his cup than anything else, glaring down at its contents before downing it. Jooheon can't help but sigh, putting his cup down and standing. 

"Come on," he says, turning to offer Kihyun his back. "Party's over." Kihyun looks around, utterly confused. How could the party be over? He still has drinks to drink! There's still people talking! The music is still cranked!! This is most definitely not the definition of a party that's over.

Still, Jooheon seems so sure, and the younger's never led him wrong before... So, trusting the younger, Kihyun wobbles up only to land with a soft 'oof' under his breath against Jooheon's back. He scrambles up onto it, clawing onto his shirt like a kitten trying to get its footing.

"Wonnie loves cats..." he mumbles before he can stop himself, his heart breaking all over again at the mention of the younger's name. Jooheon sighs loudly, replying with a gentle "I know" before gripping Kihyun's thighs to ensure his safe passage and walking them both out the room.

Hoseok and Changkyun watch as they go, glancing at each other skeptically.

After pausing only to tell Minhyuk they're crashing for the night, Jooheon takes Kihyun into one of the older's many guest rooms. He locks the door behind them after gently setting his friend down on the bed. He returns only to sit beside Kihyun, his gray hair fanned out around his face and making him look absolutely angelic. 

"You've been tho thweet to me, Jooheonney..." Kihyun mutters, his voice light and airy. Jooheon's heart claws into his throat, and he gulps hard around it. "Really... I don't know what I did to earn a friend like you..."

"Just sleep, hyung," Jooheon instructs gently, doing his best to keep his tone light despite just being hardcore friend-zoned. Kihyun hums in reply, a genuine smile dancing its way across his lips for the first time since Hyungwon's departure. 

Jooheon remains awake for a few hours later, just making sure the older doesn't need anything. He plays with Kihyun's hair, straightens out his clothes without awakening the older... Just makes sure that he's comfortable and okay.

He eventually falls asleep, though, hugging Kihyun close, and doing his best to ignore the growing guilt in his heart.


	8. Chapter 8

So far, this break has been absolutely fantastic. Hyungwon manages to go through  _full hours_ without thinking of a certain upperclassman! His parents help keep him busy once he's done with all of his exploring, and he's even gone with them on family tours. You know, the ones  _all_ tourists take. It's the best! Really, you haven't had a day until you've watched some scummy little twerp slap his grimy hands around everything in a set of historical ruins.

When Hyungwon gets back from  _that_ excursion, he literally wants to die.

He throws himself onto his bed with a loud groan, frustration ebbing through him in waves. Who does that?? And Hyungwon  _saw_ him picking at his nose, too... Now, that kid's snot is going to be on an ancient... whatever that was. God, he was so upset with the kid he hadn't even bothered listening to the tour guide! 

He guesses he'll just have to go back on his own some other time. It isn't as if he doesn't have the time...

Hyungwon goes to check his phone, doing his best to remain unaffected by the zero notifications that he has. His friends have lives, he gets it. They all have boyfriends now, so...

 _Maybe I should call him_ , Hyungwon silently muses, thumb hovering over his screen.  _No, that's stupid... It's only been a couple weeks. I'm sure the others are keeping him so busy, that time is just flying by. I don't want to be a drag on his fun by reminding him of... well... me._

The boy sighs heavily, tossing his phone aside for now and glancing up instead at the small stuffed hamster beside his mattress. It's the only thing he's bought while here so far, and the only reason he got it was because it had reminded him of a certain hyung...

"You've had pink hair before??" Hyungwon had asked that day, wholly flabbergasted. Kihyun had snickered under his breath, nodding at the younger. They had been going through old photo albums, as Kihyun was one of those to keep meticulous record of everything via photos, and they'd gotten to The Pink Year.

"I lost a bet with Jooheonney in freshman year," Kihyun had gone on to explain, "so I had to dye my hair whatever color he said to. He suggested pink, saying he thought it'd look cute, and next thing I knew I was at a salon. It turned out to suit me very well, so I kept it for a while. But, I eventually let it fade out and it went back to black."

"You look so cute~" Hyungwon had cooed, only halfly teasing as he pointed to a picture of the older boy, pink hair and chubby cheeks. There was a carrot poking out from between his lips, and his cheeks were stuffed as if he was eating. "Like a little pink hamster~"

"Yah, yah!" Kihyun had chuckles, poking at Hyungwon's arm in protest. "I'm still your hyung, whether I'm cute or not!"

"You're  _always_ cute, Kihyunnie-hyung~" Hyungwon went on to compliment leaning over to hug the boy. Kihyun sighed, instantly going to pet his hair.

"Okay, fine, I'll make dinner tonight. Happy?"

Hyungwon laughs fondly at the memory, his eyes falling shut as he can still feel the older's fingers running through his dyed locks. He reaches for his phone again, but stops his own hand at the last second. He looks over to the hamster again, a dull ache filling him. God, he wants so badly to speak with Kihyun, even if only for a minute... But, Kihyun surely hates him by now.

 _At least that takes care of the whole love issue_ , Hyungwon thinks sardonically. He smirks ruefully, yet doesn't feel all that amused with himself. 

Love... Is this love? Is love liking  _every_ thing about a certain someone, even his annoying nagging and that crazy way he cleans when he's upset? Is it love when his smile lights up your entire world, and his laugh can make you feel better no matter how awful your mood? 

Is it love when you don't feel completely alive anymore without him around?

 _I'm such a fucking idiot_ , Hyungwon thinks, groaning as he wipes his face in dismay. He turns over, staring up at his ceiling but only seeing Kihyun's beautiful face. He just wants to see him, to hear his voice... Anything.

But... what if Kihyun's already moved on? What if the older has realized he didn't really care about Hyungwon all that much, that he didn't want to wait for Hyungwon to come back?? What if he's found someone else and is happier than ever??? 

He haphazardly grabs for his phone then, panic setting in at the mere thought of Kihyun being on a date with someone right now.

He has to call the one person that would tell him for sure without actually having to ask Kihyun himself.

A loud ringing suddenly blares through the air, causing a certain boy to groan in pain. His head feels like someone's taken the biggest earthenware pot in the history of earthenware pots to his head and smacked him repeatedly with it. His throat burns, and his entire body feels like absolute shit.

Kihyun turns on his other side, burying his face in the sheets as he fights off the curse that is being awake while also being hungover.

"Hello?" a voice says softly. It sounds like Jooheon, but Kihyun can't be too sure. Nausea is turning all reasoning abilities to jello.

_Ugh,_ _jello_ _..._

"What? Hyung, no, he isn't dating anyone... Yes, I'm sure. I've hung out with him enough since you've left to be able to tell if he was... Hyungwon, I promise, Kihyun isn't going out with anyone right now."

Kihyun goes rigid, all symptoms of a hangover gone in an instant.

"If you're so worried about it, why don't you, you know, call  _him_? He wouldn't mind, I'm sure of—No, it's fine, he's asleep... Well, Minhyuk-hyung had a party last night, and—OH MY GOD CAN I FINISH A SENTENCE??" There's a pause, and Kihyun can feel Jooheon shifting on the mattress to make sure he's still asleep. Kihyun screws his eyes shut, parting his lips slightly and slowing his breath.

He can fake-sleep with the best of em.

"Minhyuk-hyung had a party last night, and Kihyunnie-hyung got pretty hammered... Why do you  _think_???? ... Okay, I have to go. Yes, I swear that he isn't dating anyone. God, next time call him yourself, okay?? He's probably better at dealing with your freak-outs than I am... Bye, hyung."

Jooheon releases a long exhale then, and Kihyun can hear him set his phone down.

"Hyung, I've slept over at your place enough to know when you're  _actually_ sleeping and when you're faking," Jooheon says bluntly, sounding absolutely exhausted. Kihyun forces out a small chuckle, turning on his other side to face his dongsaeng. Jooheon's smirking at him, a brow quirked up promptingly. "How much did you hear?"

"All of it," Kihyun admits immediately, his voice coming out scratchier than usual. "So... he's worried that I've moved on?"

"Seems like it," Jooheon sighs. "He honestly sounded pretty panicked... Maybe... Maybe this is a sign that, you know, he's willing to talk now?"

"I'm not settling what's wrong with us over the phone," Kihyun grumbles stubbornly, turning back again to tell Jooheon he's done with this conversation. Kihyun can practically hear Jooheon open his mouth again when he adds, "And I'm not calling him, either! If he wants less space, he can call me. He's the one that wanted all this damn space to begin with, so let him adjust it as need be."

"… Okay, hyung," Jooheon relents after a moment's pause. The mattress shifts again as Jooheon stands. "I'm going to see who all else stayed the night and is awake. It's already the afternoon... Maybe we can all go out for some grub or something, okay?" Kihyun hums in reply, slowly beginning to sit up. He watches Jooheon leave the room, though his mind is definitely not processing what the younger has just said.

 _Wonnie's_ _... worried I'm dating someone else..._ he thinks slowly.  _He's... actually worried I've moved on?? What the hell??? I'm the one that's said that I love him, for_ _Pete's_ _sake!!! If either of us should be worried, it should be me!!! What if he meets someone else while in Japan?? What if there's a cute barista, or tour guide??? Oh god, there's totally_ _gonna_ _be a cute barista! And a tour guide!!!_

Kihyun groans loudly, throwing his head back to glare at the ceiling.

Despite how much he tries to shove such thoughts out of his mind, he can't help but imagine Hyungwon flirting with a barista in an adorable little Starbucks on a street corner... and it absolutely  _pisses him off_.


	9. Chapter 9

“What if I  _do_ find someone else?” Kihyun muses aloud, sounding only slightly spiteful. It's an idea he hasn't been able to shake since Hyungwon had called Jooheon the previous week. He looks questioningly at Jooheon and Changkyun, who are both frozen in the middle of taking long slurps of their jjajangmyeon. Kihyun purses his lips, his brow creasing. "If you try to slurp up that much at once, it's going to make sauce splatter everywhere and I absolutely  _refuse_ to clean that up."

The two gulp nervously, setting down their chopsticks simultaneously. 

"Um... What do you mean, hyung?" Changkyun asks, trying to get the older's accusatory glare off him. It's making him sweat worse than a sinner in church. The question seems to sufficiently distract him, as Kihyun's shoulders fall and he releases a long breath.

"Wonnie's worried I'm going to go out with someone else while he's gone," Kihyun goes on to say. "He even called Jooheonney about it... So, what if I do? What if I find someone else while he's gone? It isn't as if he technically even he wanted me to wait for him. He just said ' _maybe_ when I get back we can fix things'… Why am I wasting my summer just waiting around for him?  _He's_ the one who wanted space, not me. So, why should I be the one feeling alone and shoved to the side just because he wasn't ready to man up and tell me how he feels??"

Kihyun's very aware that he's ranting now, and that these two don't know the extent of why he and Hyungwon began arguing in the first place. So, really, they don't have a clue as to where that last question came from.

"This is the last summer of my high school career, for god's sake!!! I shouldn't be sitting around here moping! I should go out, have fun... Hell, I should get laid!"

Jooheon chokes on his own spit at this, a wild blush blooming on his cheeks. Changkyun presses his lips together in dismay, watching the two carefully as he pats Jooheon on the back. Kihyun merely chuckles at Jooheon's reaction, rolling his eyes.

"I'm n-not sure that's the best way to think about it, hyung," Jooheon finally manages to say, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully. "I mean, if you feel like you should date around while Hyungwon-hyung is gone, you should, but I don't think you should just walk around looking to get some action, you know? The world's dangerous, and—"

"Aiiiiiish, Jooheon-ah," Kihyun sighs loudly, leaning back on his hands. He tilts his head to the side, frowning a little. "I was only joking about that last part... kind of."

Jooheon barely manages to meets Kihyun's eyes, and when he does his blush only worsens. His mouth goes dry, and he gulps loudly as his entire body goes rigid. There's something... unreadable in Kihyun's gaze, and Jooheon can't help but try and find the hope in it that the older is trying to suggest something about  _them_ , in particular. 

Changkyun frowns openly at this, dropping his hand on Jooheon's back and sitting back a couple inches. He clears his throat, crossing his arms over his chest. His two friends jolt to attention, blinking repeatedly as if they've just been snapped out of a daze.

"Technically," Changkyun huffs out, hating himself for saying this, "unless you two explicitly said that you wouldn't date anyone else on this break, then you're okay to date someone else... But, I don't think it's a good idea. I highly doubt Hyungwonnie-hyung is even  _thinking_ of dating anyone else while he's in Japan." He doesn’t mean for that last statement to be such a guilt trip, but, hey, whatever works to keep Kihyun from acting on any wild notions works just fine.

Kihyun sighs loudly, collapsing against the couch behind him. He leans his head back, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"I'm not saying this to be mean," he tells his two friends, his voice a bit subdued. "I just... I feel so lost right now... I really thought things would work out with Hyungwonnie, and then they just fell apart so fast, and all because of—" He pauses then, going still as he realizes he was about to divulge too much information. 

 _All because of me_... he silently adds, truly believing it. Jooheon can see the self-inflicted guilt as clear as if the older had said it, sorrow and regret shining in the boy's eyes. It's enough to make his heart break.

"Hyung, I've told you," Jooheon can't help but say, leaning forward to stare intently into the older's eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't cause this, you didn't—"

"You don't know the full story, Heonney," Kihyun chuckles ruefully, his gaze falling. He can't bear to look into the younger's eyes, so full of honesty and undying loyalty.

"I don't have to," Jooheon insists. "I know  _you_. I know you'd never do anything to self-sabotage, it's not in your nature. You wanted things to work with Hyungwon-hyung, and wouldn't have intentionally done anything to risk that."

Kihyun can't help but smile, though it's a faint whisper of the expression. He's so touched by the younger's words, by his earnest gaze, that he can't bring himself to say anything for a moment. Luckily, he doesn't have to.

"I've gotta go," Changkyun suddenly interjects, standing from the table. Kihyun glances over at him, frowning at his tone. He sounds much tenser than before, his shoulders hunched forward and his entire torso rigid.

"You okay?" Kihyun asks in concern, quirking up a brow. Changkyun only nods in reply, and mutters out some halfhearted excuse about needing to meet up with Hoseok before rushing from the room. Kihyun and Jooheon share a confused look, frowning after the maknae.

Changkyun's first thought is to call Hyungwon and tell him to get his lanky ass back to Korea as fast as he can. Then he thinks that that's too dramatic, and that maybe he should call Minhyuk and fill him in on the situation... but then realizes that'd result in something much worse than if Hyungwon were to come back.

 _I can't just sit by and do nothing_ , Changkyun thinks, replaying the scene he'd just escaped from. There had been...  _sparks_ there between his two hyungs. 

What the hell??? What was that??? As far as Hyungwon knows, Kihyun's patiently awaiting his return... But, clearly, Kihyun has different ideas.

He has to fix this. He has to keep Kihyun from throwing everything away because of his broken heart. After all, that's got to be what this is. He's just hurt and confused and alone and is just looking for comfort wherever he can find it. 

So, with that in mind, he quickens his pace, a clear destination now in his mind.


	10. Chapter 10

At first, Hoseok is  _beyond_ excited that his adorable boyfriend has decided to visit him at work. It always helps to brighten his mood whenever the younger drops by unexpectedly, and today he sorely needs it. Customers today have been the absolute worst, between their impossibly fast ordering and their demand for literally everything under the sun. It's left the young man wondering just why he thought working part-time as a barista was a good idea in the first place. 

But, when he sees Changkyun's look of utter distress, he knows this isn't going to be a cute little visit like usual. 

"I'm taking my fifteen," Hoseok tells his coworker, already taking off his apron as Changkyun nears the counter. He meets the younger halfway, taking the boy by the shoulders and studying his eyes. 

"Hyung," Changkyun says, his voice tense with nerves, "it's Kihyunnie and Jooheonney-hyung... I... I'm beginning to worry that—" 

"C'mon, Kkungie," Hoseok mutters, noticing how a flood of people are beginning to come in from the street. The afternoon rush. He steers him towards a nearby booth to keep them both out of the way, rubbing comforting circles against his back as they walk. He sits across the boy, holding both his hands in his. Changkyun takes a shaky breath, chewing on his bottom lip as he clearly wonders how he should continue. 

"Kihyun-hyung said that he was thinking of dating around while Hyungwonnie-hyung is gone," he finally says, heaving out a shaky breath. He really can't believe he's just said it, even though he's just heard it from the boy's lips just minutes ago. Hoseok straightens up at this, frowning. 

"Have you told Hyungwonnie?" Hoseok asks, his brow creasing together. Changkyun adamantly shakes his head, his eyes growing. "I think you should. Maybe that'd be the wake-up call he needs. Maybe then he'll realize leaving was stupid and be on the next plane back." 

"I don't think so," Changkyun mumbles. "I mean, I would tell him to come back for sure, but I think, if Hyungwonnie-hyung found out, it'd only break him. It'd be like... the last straw to break the camel's back, so to say." He pushes out an annoyed breath through his lips, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Have you talked to him at all since he left?" 

"A little," Hoseok answers with a nonchalant shrug, watching the younger's actions curiously. "I mean, you know how busy I've been over the summer, and whatever time I have to talk to people I talk to  _you_ , so..." Changkyun nods once, unlocking his phone and tapping around the screen before handing the device over to the older. 

On the screen is a plethora of texts, all seeming pretty close together and all from one person only.  

"W-Was this last night?" Hoseok asks, taken aback by the sheer volume of messages. They're all from Hyungwon, and they all talk about Kihyun and their situation. It's clear he had been drinking, judging by the myriad of spelling errors and emojis. They also decline in lucidity the further they go, making it very clear Hyungwon had been balling his eyes out when he'd sent these messages. 

"He's worried he's lost Kihyun-hyung forever," Changkyun surmises, nodding towards his phone. "He thinks he's just thrown the relationship away, even though that wasn't what he meant to do at all. He almost came back last night, but I told him to stay there and sober up before doing anything. I haven't heard from him at all today, but what if he's already on his way back? What if he's coming home just to find Kihyun and Jooheon-hyung making out on the couch???" 

"I-I'm s-sure that's not what'll happen..." Hoseok stutters out, taken aback by the mental image alone. It'd be a scene straight out of a drama...  

Changkyun raises a skeptical brow at the older boy, and Hoseok can't help but blush as he hands the phone back. 

"If it really worries you," Hoseok goes on to say, "then tell Minhyukkie. He'd be able to stop any progression in their relationship before Wonnie came back." Changkyun chuckles lowly at this, shaking his head. 

"No," he mutters as he puts away his phone, "I don't think we need to resort to  _that_ yet." 

The two then share a knowing laugh, silently agreeing it best to keep this piece of information out of Minhyuk's head... for now. It's always best to keep your golden ace in your back pocket until you absolutely need it. 

 

Hyungwon groans as he opens his eyes, holding up a hand to block out the onslaught of sunlight.  _God_ does he regret all those shots last night... He groans once more, flopping over to his other side. His hand lands against a cold glass bottle, and he squints to make out the empty bottle before him. His eyes flutter shut, recalling all the things that had happened to drive him to drinking an entire bottle of vodka on his own. 

 

His parents have been gone for a couple days for business, and this alone time seems to have been the one thing his memories were waiting for to slam into him full-force. He'd been watching a movie, and suddenly the main character looked very much like Kihyun. This drew him into looking at his photos on his phone of him and Kihyun, and then playing tracks he'd secretly recorded of Kihyun singing. 

That angelic voice... it's always been enough to set his mind at ease, even before they got together. But, now, as it had poured out heart-wrenching lyrics of lost love, it drives him to texting Changkyun about wanting to go back to Korea right then. He'd stumbled around with tears streaming from his eyes to grab for the nearest bottle of liquor, and he'd taken the whole thing with him as he went to his room to wallow. 

 

Now, he wholly regrets basically every decision that's led him here. Why did he think it'd be okay to leave Kihyun like that?? How could he ever leave Kihyun, ever????  

He scrambles for his phone, his entire body feeling as if it's been drenched in molasses. 

"Eomma?" he asks in the phone after dialing the desired number, his voice much too groggy and sounding much too loud despite him speaking at a normal volume. "Eomma, I need to go home, back to Korea. There's... I left someone there, and I need to make things right." 


	11. Chapter 11

Minhyuk has officially pushed all thoughts of his dear friends out of his mind, as he's currently on a date with his dearest and most precious Hyunwoo. They're currently at Minhyuk's favorite arcade, and even if Hyunwoo is only there for moral support, he's the best kind of moral support Minhyuk could've asked for.

So, imagine his surprise when he's glancing at his phone for the time only to see a message from Hyungwon declaring he'll be back by tomorrow.

"Aga!!!" Minhyuk practically screeches, shoving his phone into Hyunwoo's face. Hyunwoo calmly leans back enough to be able to read the message. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and his gaze flicks back to Minhyuk.

"Wow..." he mumbles, his deep voice reverberating through Minhyuk's very soul. "I honestly thought it'd take longer than this." Minhyuk chuckles in an almost conspiratory manner, pulling his phone back to type out a quick reply. 

"He doesn't want us telling anyone," he goes on to explain as more messages begin to come in. "He needs us to pick him up from the airport and take him to his apartment, and then I guess to Kihyunnie's? Sorry, he isn't making much sense right now... I think he's excited." Minhyuk says the last bit fondly, a gentle smile playing at his lips. Hyunwoo finds himself smiling, as well, his heart warming at the sincere affection in the younger's eyes.

"He'll probably just want to go straight to Kihyunnie's when he gets here," Hyunwoo tells him. Minhyuk hums in agreement, and then sighs as he slips his phone away.

"He started spamming me with texts about making some big gesture," Minhyuk explains, taking Hyunwoo's hand and leading him away. "Once he calms down I'll reply again, but for now he's just brainstorming. C'mon, let's go get some pizza~" Hyunwoo hums, already moving to follow the younger.

He'd honestly follow Minhyuk to the ends of the world, if he asked.

Hyungwon's parents don't really seem to understand his sudden need to get back home as soon as possible, but, when he explains he'd left something unfinished with someone special to him, they understood just enough to make quick work of getting him a plane ticket. He decides to leave the part out about this special someone being a boy, as he highly doubts they know he's gay yet—mainly because he hadn't told them—so when his mother asks who it is, he just vaguely answers that she'll meet the someone eventually, if he can fix things.

This seems to spur her on even more, immediately going to begin packing his things herself. He chuckles as he follows her to his room, shaking his head at her excitement. First they rush back to the apartment, a day early from their business endeavor, and now she's running around in a hectic flurry of activity to help get him where he needs to be.

She pulls his bags out from the closet, and starts firing off a list of things she'll send with him. She then begins going through his clothes, but pauses at sighting a sweater she doesn't recognize stuck in the far corner, away from all the other clothes. She turns to Hyungwon with a knowing sort of smirk, quirking up a brow as she pulls it out.

Hyungwon immediately snatches it from her, stuttering out some lame excuse as he folds it as quickly as possible with his hands shaking like they are. She merely hums in reply, going back to her work. The boy pushes out a small breath, hiding his embarrassed face as he turns to gently set the item of clothing into a suitcase.

"… Do you really think it'd be okay for me to try it all with someone else while Wonnie's gone?" Kihyun asks, his voice faint in the dark room. Jooheon turns his gaze away from the only light in the room, that of the television, scared to even breathe. Kihyun pulls away slightly, as he'd been using Jooheon's shoulder as a pillow for a good bit of the passed hour, a curious light sparkling in his eyes.

Jooheon can see his two options as clear as if they were written out before him. On one hand, he could tell Kihyun no and tell him it'd be better to wait for Hyungwon's return. It'd be less drama for when his boyfriend  _did_ come back, and everyone would be happier that way if he did... Or, on the other hand, he could say yes. He could say that it's absolutely okay, and then gently ease Kihyun into the kind of relationship he's been craving from the other for years.

Suddenly, images of them together, happy, laughing, holding hands, and just doing whatever the hell it is adorable couples do flash before his eyes. His heart thumps about madly in his chest at the mere notion of such a future with the older, and before he can even think to do differently, he's leaning forward to kiss Kihyun square on the lips.

Kihyun's lips are soft and pliable beneath his, and taste faintly of the wine they'd cracked open earlier to have with dinner. He pulls away after a moment too long, his head absolutely spinning. He feels the blush creep all the way up from his neck to the tips of his ears, and he can barely bring himself to meet Kihyun's gaze.

When he finally manages it, it's only to see a tear falling down Kihyun's cheek. His lips are pursed together, and his eyes shine with heartache.

"Heonney..." he says, his voice breaking as he physically folds in on himself. Jooheon immediately pulls him in for a hug, petting his hair and telling him it's okay. He closes his own eyes as he buries his face in Kihyun's hair, breathing in the familiar scent to try and calm himself. 

Kihyun's presence is always so calming for him...

"Thank you," Kihyun whispers, crying softly into Jooheon's shirt. He sniffles and, as if sensing Jooheon's confusion, adds, "Thank you for showing me that I couldn't care about anyone like I do for Wonnie, would only be finding someone else to get back at him for leaving me..."

Jooheon's heart falls at the response... Is that truly what Kihyun thought he'd been going for?? That there's no way Jooheon would be kissing him because of some  _actual attraction_???? He wants to pull away, explain that he loves Kihyun, will always love Kihyun, and that he could make the older happy if only given the chance.

However, he can only hold his friend tighter as he cries, knowing that's not what he needs right now. So, instead, he just lets Kihyun cry as his own heart shatters into a billion pieces.


	12. Chapter 12

Hyungwon doesn't know what to do first when he gets off the plane. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo are waiting for him at the gate, holding a sign about twenty times more obnoxious than the one they'd used to send him off... Hyungwon had thought such a feat impossible, but, clearly, he's been away for too long as he's begun to underestimate Minhyuk. 

"Welcome home, Hyungwonnie~!" Minhyuk had all but screamed, leaving Hyunwoo alone to hold the sign as he throws himself into Hyungwon's skinny arms. Hyungwon chuckles thickly, smiling over Minhyuk's shoulder to Hyunwoo in silent gratitude. Hyunwoo merely nods, understanding the message easily.

"Thanks, hyung," he says to Minhyuk, struggling to pull away from the clingy boy. "You didn't tell Kihyunnie, did you? I wanted to surprise him and—"

"I  _can_ keep a secret when asked, Hyungwon-ah," Minhyuk tells him, feigning offense. "C'mon, the car's parked illegally, and we'd better get to it before it gets towed."

"What??" Hyunwoo suddenly interjects, looking absolutely scandalized. "Minhyukkie, you told me that was a good spot..."

"It was," Minhyuk answers, shrugging. "What you should've asked me was if it was a  _legal_ spot~" He chuckles then, leaning over to grab Hyungwon's bags while snickering to himself. Hyunwoo sighs in exasperation, but shakes his head lovingly at his boyfriend. God, he's such a handful sometimes.

The couple insists on taking Hyungwon home first, because he's been in a tin can in the air for a little over an hour breathing in the same air with countless other humans and that's absolutely disgusting... or so Minhyuk says. So, after a quick pit-stop to drop off his things and freshen up—which for Hungwon always takes a good part of an hour—they're off to start gathering all that Hyungwon needs to get his man back.

Kihyun awakens with an awful crick in his neck. He opens his eyes slowly, confused for a moment to find himself lying on top of Jooheon on the couch. But, then, he remembers the kiss.

He sits up carefully, so as to not awaken the younger. He studies his sleeping face, it seeming so pure and adorable with the tiniest of pouts pulling at his lips. He smiles fondly, reaching forward to brush Jooheon's bangs out of his face. 

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door, and Kihyun looks towards it, a confused frown contorting his features. Who would be coming over so soon in the day? Everyone he knows usually sleeps until the late afternoon, and it can't be any later than noon now judging by the sunlight pouring in... 

He gets up to answer it, straightening out his clothes and running a hand through his hair as he walks. He smacks his lips once, then twice, and clears his throat to ready his voice for use. However, when he opens the door and sees who's on the other side, any thoughts of speaking are thrown out the window.

Hyungwon is standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, holding a bouquet of bright blue forget-me-nots and a bucket of fried chicken... his favorite color paired with his favorite food. He's so stunned he almost doesn't catch the way the younger gulps nervously, making his Adam's apple bob.

"H-Hyung," Hyungwon begins, his voice thick. Kihyun's grip on the door tightens, as the sound of his voice alone is to make him want to tumble forward and kiss this stupid boy... or smack him... whichever comes first. Hyungwon takes a steadying breath, shuffling on his feet as he tries again.

"Hyung, I'm sorry. I didn't handle anything right when I left, and I was stupid to even think of leaving you in the first place. I... I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. And, in return, I'll give you my heart... forever... O-Or until you don't want it anymore... I mean... That is to say... Ah, shit, I'm screwing this up..."

Hyungwon glances down, scanning the doorstep as if he's mentally running through a script. He begins to bouncer up and down anxiously on his knees, and his hold on the items of his affection grows tighter. Kihyun silently steps closer, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yoo Kihyun, I love you, and I'll stay with y—"

Hyungwon can't get the rest of his sentence out, as Kihyun has just slapped him clear across the face. His skin stings from the contact. He can't bring himself to look into the older's eyes, so overcome with shame in that moment. He's about to silently think of just all the things he's done to throw away something so good, but, then, the older is kissing him hard on the lips, and Hyungwon absolutely melts.

The younger almost drops the food and flowers, his eyes falling shut and his knees buckling against each other. His heart jumps into his throat, his whole body beginning to shake as he thinks of just how much he's  _missed_ this boy.

Kihyun pulls away all too soon, tears eeking out the corners of his eyes as he smiles the most brilliant smile Hyungwon's ever seen in his life.

"You... You abtholute moron..." Kihyun says faintly, so overcome with emotion he can't keep control over his lisp. "You really had to go to Japan to be able to tell me that???" Hyungwon chuckles lowly, shifting his hold on the things to have a hand free. He reaches up with it, gently brushing his fingers against Kihyun's cheek to wipe away the tears.

"I gue _th_ _th_ o," he replies, emphasizing his own fake lisp, hoping a tease will diffuse the tension and get his precious Kihyunnie to laugh. It does the trick, the older lightly hitting his chest as the most musical laughter slips passed his lips. Hyungwon finds himself laughing, as well, a wholehearted sound he hadn't made since before this whole mess began. 

Hyungwon steps back, smiling a wide, gummy smile as he takes in Kihyun's appearance. He does his best to not react to seeing the way his clothes seem to hang on him, his frame much thinner than he remembers, and bags just hanging from beneath his eyes. He gulps guiltily, his hand dropping to tightly hold onto Kihyun's own hand.

He'll never hurt Kihyun again like he did...

"Come on," Kihyun says softly, pulling Hyungwon into his home. He can tell the younger's thoughts have taken on more of a sad aspect, and he won't have any of that today. He closes the door before he can spot Minhyuk and Hyunwoo in the car parked in front of his house, Minhyuk's face plastered to the window to watch as much of the show as he can.

He leads Hyungwon to the kitchen, making a shushing motion as they pass the living room. Hyungwon raises a questioning brow at seeing Jooheon passed out on the couch, but Kihyun waves a dismissive hand to tell him it's nothing. He gestures for the younger to set the food and flowers on the kitchen table, already moving to get some plates. 

For some reason, he's feeling hungrier than he's felt in a long time... 


	13. Chapter 13

Jooheon is a bit confused when he wakes up alone, having remembered Kihyun crying himself to sleep atop him the night before. He's even  _more_ confused when he hears hushed whispers coming from the kitchen.  

When he gets up to investigate and finds Kihyun and Hyungwon sitting there, eating chicken, he's absolutely flabbergasted. 

"Hyungwon-hyung??" he bursts out in surprise, sufficiently interrupting their conversation. The two jolt in shock and turn to look at him, Kihyun's face breaking out into the most genuine smile Jooheon's seen on him in a while. 

"The brat decided to keep his return a secret until the last second," Kihyun informs him, smirking jokingly over at Hyungwon as if nothing had happened. 

Is that possible? Did Jooheon just imagine the past few weeks?? Did he or did he not just kiss Kihyun the night before????? 

"That's great!" Jooheon says, giving them the best smile he can muster. He watches as the two chuckle fondly, grabbing for each other's hands across the table, and literally feels his soul break into two. "Um," he mumbles, already backing out of the room, "I'm sure you two have some talking to do, so I'll just leave you two to it. I'll uh... I'll see you guys later..." He then turns on his heel and hurriedly goes to put on his shoes, practically tripping over himself as he goes. 

"… You okay?" Kihyun asks, standing to follow him. Jooheon hums in reply, making some half-assed excuse like his mom texting him or something, and disappears through the front door before Kihyun can say anything else. He frowns after his friend, wondering just what had gotten into him. 

 

Tears sting at the corners of Jooheon's eyes as he trudges away from Kihyun's door. He hunches his shoulders forward, shoving his hands in his pockets as he goes. How could he have been so stupid?? Of course he could never have Kihyun, no matter how much he tried... He  _literally_ _kisses_ the boy, but the older only thinks that it's him trying to teach him a lesson??? What the hell???  

He's so lost in his broken thoughts that he doesn't even notice the car still parked outside of the house until Minhyuk suddenly appears before him. 

"We'll give you a ride," is all the older tells him, steering him towards the beat-up, four-door vehicle. Jooheon can barely hold it together before he's gently put into the car.  

He leans forward on the cracked vinyl seat, a broken sob forcing its way through his lips as he hides his face between his knees. He feels Minhyuk slide in beside him, softly telling Hyunwoo to go as the older's arms pull him close in a caring embrace. 

It feels as if every little particle of his being is breaking into a billion micro-pieces. His voice comes out in strained whines, and his nose has begun to run, but he doesn't care.  

He doesn't think he'll ever be able to care about anything again... 

Hyunwoo watches his dear friend break down in the back seat, nodding gratefully to his boyfriend for comforting him. Minhyuk gives him a good-natured smile, shrugging as if it isn't all that big a deal. He then returns his attention to the boy, carding his fingers through his hair and telling him that, even though it may not feel like it now, everything will be okay. 

Jooheon sincerely doubts that, but can't bring himself to say such a thing right now. 

 

Two weeks later, the entire group sits around a table at their favorite diner, chowing down on pancakes and chugging down cheap coffee. Jooheon sits as far away from the newly-rejoined couple as possible, in between Changkyun and Minhyuk at the other end of the table. He dully pokes at his food, understanding now why Kihyun had gotten so thin before when Hyungwon had left... 

He honestly wouldn't have even come today if Minhyuk and Hyunwoo hadn't dragged him here in the first place. 

"I can't believe you made us waste so much of the summer," Kihyun grumbles a bit too loudly for Jooheon's liking, the playful lilt to his voice like a pang to his already-broken heart. "We could've spent the time together, having fun, but nooooo~ You had to go to Japan, and now, here we are, the majority of the summer wasted." Hyungwon chuckles good-naturedly at this, sighing. 

"I've already apologized for being stupid, Kihyunnie," Hyungwon tells him, going along with the tease. Changkyun notices the way Jooheon physically recoils when Hyungwon goes to plant a kiss on Kihyun's cheek, and reaches under the table to squeeze his knee consolingly. 

Even though no one knows the full details of what had caused Jooheon's breakdown, they can only guess... 

"Oh~" Hoseok suddenly interjects, drawing everyone's attention to his half-dazed expression. "I heard there was a kid transferring into our school this fall. He's in Heonney and Kkungie's year, if I'm not mistaken." Changkyun smiles a bit too brightly at the change in the conversation for the couple not privy to Jooheon's mood, as he's incredibly grateful to his boyfriend for being able to steer the conversation away from the source of Jooheon's dismay. 

"Really?" Minhyuk asks eagerly, leaning forward to look Hoseok in the eye. "What's his name? Do you know?" 

"He actually came into the café last week," Hoseok reveals, his eyes drifting to the ceiling in thought. "I think his name was... Song Gunhee? Yeah, that sounds right. He seemed like a good kid, for the most part. He was pretty excited about moving here." 

"Have you heard anything about this, Jooheon-ah?" Kihyun asks, leaning to spot his friend so far away. "I mean, since I handed over the welcoming committee responsibilities to you, you should be getting emails about all that... Have you?" 

"I... haven't been able to check my email lately," Jooheon mumbles thickly, unable to meet Kihyun's eyes. "Been too sick." Yeah, sick. That's the story as far as Kihyun is concerned, and that's all he'll ever know. 

"Okay... Well, once you get the time, could you check? We need to start planning..." Jooheon merely hums in reply, still not looking at the older. Kihyun purses his lips at this, thinking his weird mood to be due more to than a simple illness, but let's it pass... for now. 

Jooheon drowns out the rest of the conversation surrounding him. He can feel Changkyun and Minhyuk's eyes on him every so often, but he can't even draw the strength to give them any sort of silent reassurance. 

They say that time is supposed to heal all wounds, but something tells him that this kind of heartbreak will last him for much longer than he could ever bear...  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whew* omg that was the shortest amount of time it's ever taken me to complete a fic of this length, I think, lol. I just couldn't stop writing this story??? It was so much fun??? I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it~! Any sort of feedback is always appreciated ^^* I love y'all, thanks for staying with me on this particular journey, I'll see everyone in the next fic~!
> 
> (which may not be all that unrelated to this one.......... *dramatic music plays in the background* heheehee~)


	14. A/N

Hey all~!!!! 

I know I left this kind of open-ended, but worry not! I've a continuation in the works in which our precious Heonney finally gets what he deserves!

It's called 'Snapback Blues', and the first chapter is up and ready for all you lovelies to read!! 

 

I just couldn't leave Jooheon like this, all broken up inside, without some kind of happiness for him in the end... And thus, the (possibly) final installment in this series~

 

Thank y'all so much for every comment, hit, and kudo you gave this fic! I hope y'all enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy the continuation just as much!

<3 ReeLee


End file.
